


Hold Me Down

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Cuddles, Cuddling, Derek Hale Deserves Nice Things, Dom/sub, Gentle Dom, M/M, Praise Kink, Stiles Takes Care Of Derek, clingy!Derek, dom!stiles, needy!Derek, petnames, sub!derek, very light restraint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5176577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>And he told me I was <strong>holy</strong></em>
</p><p> </p><p>Everyone always assumes that Stiles is the restless one, but just because Derek's restlessness isn't as outwardly presented as Stiles' it doesn't mean that he's any less unsettled</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold Me Down

**Author's Note:**

> I need more clingy, needy, desperate-to-be-touched Derek in my life, and anyone knows me and/or has read my other fics like this one also knows that sub!Derek is my life blood so... here, have an hour-long drabble *cough*

Everyone always pegged Stiles for the restless one

He couldn't be quiet, he couldn't sit still, he couldn't stop fidgeting or settle down

And to a degree, they were right, Stiles was restless, but to a degree they were wrong, Derek was restless too

Stiles had calmed over the years from the way he used to be

Some of it was age, as his hormones settled he settled too

Some of it was becoming a spark- or, rather, acknowledging his spark, so much of his inability to be still had been pent up magic with nowhere to go running amuck in his nervous system and now that he was controlling his magic some of the anxiousness and fidgeting was controlled too

Some of it was tragedy, he was too tired to be a ball of energy anymore, there were plenty of days, sometimes weeks, even longer now and then, where he didn't sleep, or even when he did it was only out of exhaustion, and when he was so emotionally worn that no amount of physical health or well-being could remove the bags from under his eyes

Alot of it stayed, it just evolved

Less of a cat-like, quick ball of touch this, fidget with that, move here, twitch there

More of a constant jitter that claimed one part of his body at a time, like ants that crawled up his leg and made it shake or bees swarming beneath his fingertips and making them twitch

So yes, Stiles was restless

But Derek was restless too

They were two completely different kinds of unsettled that required all kinds of different solutions to handle

Stiles was outward, fingers dancing in uncoordinated patterns, scratching angry red marks on his skin, mouth raw and swollen from constantly biting his lips, his tongue, his cheeks, anything that could fit under his teeth

Derek was inward, caving in on himself and sitting as still as a statue as his head attacked it's self, his mind turning into a war ground as his throat mimicked the most simple sounds it could find to appear present when in reality monsters lived inside his mind and turned his head into a warzone, noise loud enough to deafen him and screaming intense enough to carve his throat raw so he spoke with as little words as possible so he didn't just make everything worse

Because Derek was so GOOD at making everything worse

Stiles had an itch under his skin that all of his scratching couldn't reach

Derek had an alarm ringing in his head that all of the screaming in the world couldn't quiet

And it shouldn't really be surprising that their solutions to these problems took on similar form to the problems themselves

Stiles was outward, he reached out for people and shouted at the top of his lungs and grasped control of any little thing he could curl his fingers around to anchor him to the ground, he inhaled

Derek was inward, he locked the doors and windows to keep everyone and everything away so that he could have an opportunity to let go and let his body destroy it's self just so his mind would be quiet and he could float on something akin to peace, he exhaled

It wasn't good practice, maybe, probably, at all

But it kept them from sinking below the waves that kept threatening to pull them under so they lived with it

But things changed and they changed and their coping mechanisms changed as well

Derek went away for a year and let the wolf chase away his demons until there was a protective fence between Derek's consciousness and the rest of his mind

And God he loved the wolf for that, sure he was the first one to tell people that as a werewolf, you and your wolf are not separate beings, but he had always been able to visualize it and since evolving and allowing himself to sink into the mind of a wolf- fully, completely- he's been able to see the one part of him that has always felt safe and right and good put up that protective barrier for the weak, fragile, human qualities he maintained

He let go too much, he found, and if it hadn't been for Braeden yanking on his collar now and again with her check-ins during that last half of the year, he really wondered if he would have gone feral or not

But when he came back he still had that barrier, as fragile and so easily breakable as it was, and it helped

Stiles had spent that year of Derek's departure in constant breakdown, he had no flimsy fences to keep the darkness away and let it consume him instead because he reached a point of just being too tired to fight back, but even demons can exhaust themselves and after letting them destroy him for long enough they were tired enough that he could fight back and put them back in their cages

If it hadn't been for gaining control of his spark and sheer willpower though, he has no doubt that he would have lost once and for all against them

But he recuperated enough to fight back and it was barely there, hardly enough, but it was a force he had behind him and it helped

And over the course of the next year they started to settle into themselves a little more, they started to settle into eachother a little bit more too

Derek came back in the summer and when the new semester started and most of the pack left for college it was just he and Stiles left in Beacon Hills to "babysit" as Stiles called it

It gave them alot of time with only a little other company and they found themselves growing more and more comfortable and sinking deeper and deeper into eachother

One night, in a very sleep deprived state, Stiles asked if Derek thought they could have been like this sooner if they'd ever had the alone time

Derek had chuckled but hadn't answered

He didn't know but he was sort of afraid to think about it

By the time Christmas rolled around they were more than just roommates- a bridge they had crossed in August- but they were lovers as well

Within a year things had gotten better

So much better, to the point that they were... Stiles couldn't even believe it but they were GOOD.... they were HAPPY...

Hell Stiles was planning to propose the first week of December, he already had it all planned out with a trip to Disneyworld disguised as an early Christmas gift and everything

But this wasn't about that, as much as Stiles sort of wishes it would be

Because everyone assumed that Stiles was the restless one

The unsettled one, the troubled one, the anxious, clingy, desperate-to-be-touched one

And he still was all of those things but Derek.... Derek was worse in the classic way

He didn't fidget or trip over his words or reach out for anyone

But that was only because he knew better, only because he had been taught over the years of being alone that no one would reach back

Except that that wasn't true anymore, Stiles was here now and he ALWAYS reached back

And he may not twitch or move or ask for anything ever but it didn't mean that he didn't NEED

He had his own anxieties to be soothed

He just needed things a little differently than Stiles did and Stiles understood that

When he started getting to know Derek- really getting to know him in the unspoken intimacy that they have now- he started understanding the sorts of things that Derek needed and he realized that he needed them just as much

Derek needed to let go, to not be in control for five minutes of his life and to just let himself drift and breathe and EXIST for a wile, to be touched, to be told that he was worth it and deserved good things and to be able to close his eyes and know that when he opened them again, he would have someone right next to him

But Stiles needed the opposite, he needed to control, to know that he wasn't going to be ignored or drowned out or shut down and that the things he says and does will matter, to touch, to reassure someone and take care of them because it makes him feel usefull and NEEDED, to know that someone trusts him so much that they'll close their eyes and trust that when they open them again, Stiles will be there watching over them

They were the perfect yin and yang, feeding into eachother and providing what the other needed

And everyone always thought it was Stiles who would need

Who would need touch and reassurance and to be reminded that someone was there

And he does, but so does Derek, and the difference is that Stiles is external, he reaches out, when he needs to touch he places his hand on someone, wraps an arm around them, gives them a squeeze

And it only hurts when they pull away

Derek never pulls away

Most of the time neither of them do until one of them needs to regain usage of a limb or a body part has gone numb

But the thing is, Derek... Derek just CAN'T....

He's internal, he collapses in on himself and swallows his words and he just ...CAN'T... because he's afraid that no one will reach back, no matter how many times Stiles has shown that he will

But that's ok, Stiles figures, he's getting better- they both are, some day Derek will learn to reach and maybe it'll take months or years or more or maybe it'll just be one of those inherent personality traits that sticks and never actually goes away

But it's ok

Because Stiles will ALWAYS reach for him, and he knows when Derek needs to be reached out to the most

The signs are simple and not always easy to read but Stiles has become a master at reading Derek and the signs are as clear as blaring sirens to him now

"Man I can't wait, just another ten minutes until The Walking Dead!" Stiles preened excitedly, clutching his pillow to his chest

"Yeah, close," Derek mumbled back

Stiles glanced over at him and frowned

He was laying on his side, back to Stiles, half-curled into himself, and unusually pillowless

He was quiet too

Too quiet for "It's almost time for The Walking Dead" time

His face wasn't relaxed, he could see a few ticks in it, and within a second Stiles ditched his pillow and climbed over to him, gently rolling Derek onto his back and straddling him

Derek didn't fight him and that was good... that was good...

"Are you ok?" he asked seriously

"I'm fine," Derek mumbled back, looking anywhere but directly in Stiles' eyes

The spark's eyebrows pinched together and he moved a hand to gently pin Derek's hands above his head

"Now **I KNOW** you didn't just lie to me Sweetheart, _are. you. o. k._?" he repeated slowly, sternly

Derek's jaw tensed and his face wrinkled and Stiles' heart broke a little bit because he understood

Sometimes he just couldn't say it

They were hard words to push past your lips, owning up to not being ok, even if it was only with the word "No"

And Stiles understood

"It's ok, you don't have to say it," he said softly, and Derek relaxed a little bit but looked more disappointed with himself than anything

And Stiles couldn't exactly have that now could he?

"Hey," he said softly, gently tilting Derek's head back towards him and cupping his cheek

"I said it's ok, do I need to repeat myself?"

"No Alpha," he said quietly

"Good boy," Stiles affirmed, leaning down and laying a kiss on his forehead, trailing his lips down and kissing his nose, smiling at the way it twitched, and moving his mouth further down until he was pressing gentle kisses on Derek's lips

"Close your eyes," he said softly, giving Derek's wrists a gentle squeeze

Derek's face set in a hard line, apparently not happy with the idea

"Close your eyes for me honey," Stiles tried again

The change was barely noticeable but it was there- the slight loss of tension in Derek's body as the werewolf slowly closed his eyes just as asked

Stiles kissed him again, letting his lips pepper anywhere and everywhere they could reach as he gave Derek's wrists another squeeze, a little firmer this time, and cupped his cheek with his free hand

"Open your eyes now,"

Derek blinked them open staring up at Stiles silently

"Do you know why we did that?"

Derek gave a slow nod and Stiles squeezed again, eyebrow raising

"Do you know why we did that?"

"Yes... yes Alpha,"

It was unspoken but it was obvious

Because Stiles was still there

"What do you need Derek?" he asked softly

"I don't know," Derek mumbled back

Stiles shook his head, squeezing his wrists again

"What do you need Derek?"

"You,"

"What do you need from me?"

"I... I promise, I don't know..."

And that was ok, sometimes you don't know what you need and that's ok

"Do you need a full session?"

Derek shook his head slowly

"I don't think so, I don't really feel like sex right now,"

And that was ok too, it wasn't like they didn't have an overactive sex drive (today alone Scott had been scarred for life for probably the sixth time by walking in without notice and really a werewolf shouldn't be having this many accidents)

But that didn't matter, Stiles would love Derek even if he never wanted sex

And Stiles would take care of him, praise him, hold him down if he still needed it, even if he never wanted sex

"That's ok, can we try something?"

Derek nodded eagerly and Stiles reluctantly released Derek's hands, smiling when he noticed that Derek didn't move them

"Such a good boy for me," he praised with a smile, not missing the way Derek's shoulders relaxed a little more from the words

He rolled off of him, grabbing some pillows and arranging them a bit

"C'mere," he instructed, pulling Derek towards him and making sure his head and shoulders were propped up on the pillows before carefully cradling him to his chest, pressing him close and trapping Derek's arms between them, keeping his arms wrapped around him and gently stroking his hair

"Is this good?" he asked quietly, kissing the werewolf's forehead

Derek nodded slowly, already relaxing against him as his breathing evened out a little more

"Do you need anything else? Are you feeling better?"

"This is good... I'm good..." he mumbled back

"You sure?"

"Yes Stiles,"

Stiles smiled softly, turning up the volume on the TV even though he knew Derek could still hear it perfectly well smushed against his chest

Yes, Stiles needed to be touched, to be praised and held and assured

But Derek needed it too and wile Stiles needed to hold and never let go, Derek needed to be held and never let go of

Derek, no matter how tough his persona may seem to the outside world, needed someone to tell him it was ok, to hold him down and take control because Derek trusts him to, to hold him tightly and rub his back because Derek DESERVES it

He deserves to be comforted and held and cared for and loved

And it would probably take Stiles alot longer before he could even get Derek to begin to believe that

But this?

This thing they've fallen into where Derek doesn't argue anymore and maybe he still can't say it but he admits to needing Stiles, to needing to be held or pinned down or drowned in kisses or buried alive in Stiles' scent, that was progress

And for now atleast, this was enough


End file.
